Showing posts with label grieving. Show all posts
Showing posts with label grieving. Show all posts

Friday, March 1, 2019

I am grieving. What you can do.

My mother, Nancy Caroline Urquhart, passed away on Tuesday, February 26.

We were very close. I am grieving.

Patients and friends keep asking me what they can do. I tell them "I don't know". I what I want to say is "I want my mommy! Can you find her? Bring her to me like she was when she was vital and whole? I want to spend one more afternoon with her hiking and swimming in the hot springs and laughing and eating cookies!" But, of course, that's impossible. (Not to mention not being very mature, becoming, or professional.)

Well, I've thought of something you can do for me. Several things in fact:

- If you're lucky enough to still have a mother and father or aunt or uncle, go give them a hug and tell them you love them. Tell them a few fond memories you have of them before it's too late. Thank them for what they have done for you. Make these things a habit. Trust me, no matter how much you do this,  in the end, it will never seem like enough.

If you have children, tell them you love them and give them a kiss. Tell them why you are proud of them. Make these things a habit. They might feel like they get enough of this after a while, but keep doing it.

If you have grandchildren, nieces or nephews, take them out for ice cream sundaes and a movie. Spoil them in spite the hymenial cries of their parents. Make yourself part of their lives. If you don't have such little folks in your life consider "adopting" some. Teach them how to cook or fish or sew or fix the flat on a bike tire. Teach them some other things too, like how to make farting noises using your armpit and how to sing "Found a Peanut".

If you have an old friend, call them and make a lunch date. Keep the lunch date. Find more old friends to make lunch dates with.

If you're a voter, vote in future elections! If you're not a voter, register, then vote!

If you have some spare change, donate it to the Nature Conservancy in my mother's name.

If you can (you know you can), Reduce, Reuse, Recycle.

If you have space, adopt a rescue pet, even if it defies logic.

If you have a yard or a garden, plant some flowers this spring for my mom and the bees.

So.

That's what you can do.

It would mean a lot to me (and Mom).



Thursday, December 19, 2013

Handling The Holidays When A Loved One Dies



by Mimi McDavid, guest blogger & "friend of the show"



Losing someone you love is often an emotional and painful experience.  When someone dies over the holidays it can cloud our ability to function and add stress to an already hectic time of year.  Learning to love and care for oneself during this challenging time is so important for emotional health and well-being, here are a few suggestions:


Express your grief in a way that works for you.  Talk, pray, or write a letter, but allow your tears and pain to find a way out of your heart and into some form of action. 

·       Be gentle and patient with yourself. This is not always easy when we are grieving…take a little time each day to listen to yourself and your feelings and do things that you know nurture your spirit. For some it might be getting outdoors for a hike, meditating or journaling.

·       Rituals are a powerful form of expression. Remembering your loved one will get easier over time. What did you love most about your loved one?  Remember these things and do not be afraid of your feelings.  Pay tribute to your loved one in a way that has meaning for you!

·       Trust that you will feel better and stronger over time. Give yourself whatever you need to get through this loss. And remember everyone grieves in their own way. If your grief is overwhelming you or not getting better over time – ask for help!

Mimi McDavid specializes in grief counseling and helping children and families through tough times and transition. She is the founder of Wonders Inc. – its sole mission… giving people the tools to manage the challenges of life and adversity.  You can contact Mimi @ 720.988.7482 or visit her website @ wondersinc.org.

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