Friday, March 1, 2019

I am grieving. What you can do.

My mother, Nancy Caroline Urquhart, passed away on Tuesday, February 26.

We were very close. I am grieving.

Patients and friends keep asking me what they can do. I tell them "I don't know". I what I want to say is "I want my mommy! Can you find her? Bring her to me like she was when she was vital and whole? I want to spend one more afternoon with her hiking and swimming in the hot springs and laughing and eating cookies!" But, of course, that's impossible. (Not to mention not being very mature, becoming, or professional.)

Well, I've thought of something you can do for me. Several things in fact:

- If you're lucky enough to still have a mother and father or aunt or uncle, go give them a hug and tell them you love them. Tell them a few fond memories you have of them before it's too late. Thank them for what they have done for you. Make these things a habit. Trust me, no matter how much you do this,  in the end, it will never seem like enough.

If you have children, tell them you love them and give them a kiss. Tell them why you are proud of them. Make these things a habit. They might feel like they get enough of this after a while, but keep doing it.

If you have grandchildren, nieces or nephews, take them out for ice cream sundaes and a movie. Spoil them in spite the hymenial cries of their parents. Make yourself part of their lives. If you don't have such little folks in your life consider "adopting" some. Teach them how to cook or fish or sew or fix the flat on a bike tire. Teach them some other things too, like how to make farting noises using your armpit and how to sing "Found a Peanut".

If you have an old friend, call them and make a lunch date. Keep the lunch date. Find more old friends to make lunch dates with.

If you're a voter, vote in future elections! If you're not a voter, register, then vote!

If you have some spare change, donate it to the Nature Conservancy in my mother's name.

If you can (you know you can), Reduce, Reuse, Recycle.

If you have space, adopt a rescue pet, even if it defies logic.

If you have a yard or a garden, plant some flowers this spring for my mom and the bees.


That's what you can do.

It would mean a lot to me (and Mom).


  1. Oh Caroline. This is so touching - and uplifting. Honoring the people we love, in life and in spirit, is the most heart-centric things we can do as humans. It's a special kind of consciousness that sheds light on our embodied experience until we rejoin the Great Mystery. May your Mother's memory always be a blessing - and my heart goes out to yours, in grief. ~Alyson & Don

    1. Thank you so much for your kind and wise words. <3

  2. Carolyn, I am so sorry for your loss!! You have put everything into perspective. I send you love and light! ❤️

  3. I send heartfelt sympathy to you and your family. In my small condo that doesn’t even touch the ground I intended this year to plant some flowers for the bees. I’m going to call it Nancy’s garden and when the flowers grow I’m gonna tell them every day about how much her daughter loved her.

  4. Thank you so much, Valerie. Mom always said "one is closer to God in a garden than anywhere else on earth." :'-) <3


Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.